What's So Wrong With the "R" Word?

    I am writing the following article, because I have heard numerous people say this word.  People that include friends, family, students, parents, as well as other random people I pass by.  I hold no personal offense or anger toward the person who has used the word.  I understand what they are trying to say, and realize they lack the knowledge behind the word, thus why they use it in the first place.  My sole purpose of this article is to educate individuals why using the “R” word is not okay.  If, at any time, you feel judged, that is not my intention.  However, if conviction leads to a change in vocabulary and language use, then you will understand the purpose for this article.

     So, what is the R word?

     Retarded.

     I often hear it in a context of describing a certain action as stupid.  I realize that over time, certain words take on different meanings.  We no longer use ‘gay’ to mean “happy”, but to describe a sexual orientation; slang has changed the meaning of ‘sick’ and ‘bad’ to mean “cool” (though, personally, I could never understand why).  However, to understand why using the word “retarded” is offensive to those within the disability community, one must understand the history behind the word.

     Retarded comes from the musical term, “retardanto”, which means “to slow down”.  Which is where we also get the term “retardant”, as something to slow down the burning of a fire.  The term ‘retarded’ was to describe someone who’s learning processes are slower than that of their peers, due to, primarily, an intellectual disability (ID).  These students took a long time to understand the processes of life patterns and school formulas (simple tasks such as cleaning the kitchen, doing dishes, learning how to read and do math problems), thus ‘retarded’.

     What happened is, within my generation, the term that once meant “slow” suddenly meant “stupid”. 

     “What that person did was retarded.”  Translation:  what that person did was stupid.

     Suddenly, within the disability community, there were people who understood themselves to be slower (yet, able to achieve major goals within their IEPs [individualized education plans – think of them as specific lesson plans for kids with disabilities that inhibit their learning processes]), were suddenly being called stupid.  Never mind that, for some people who have used the word, not toward anyone with a disability, the effect was still the same.  I imagine, however, that the word was perhaps specifically used with persons of disabilities, at times, thus making the offense deeper. 

     The effect then had an internal expectation that those with ID could not achieve their goals.  Note: whether this was explicitly stated or not, this was what had been communicated.  This is such a disheartened feeling, and unrealistic, because the truth is…as slow as any special education student (specifically, ID) may be, once they get the pattern and understand the processes, there is NO GOING BACK.  Perhaps some refreshers, but it’s hard for them to forget once they completely remember.  These students work off routines, and when the routine of the tailored learning has been achieved, it’s a GO!  Thus, they may be slow, but they are not stupid. 

     Perhaps, in reading this, you may think I am over-analyzing or being too sensitive.  But, I know that if I were to use the N word, all readers would jump on me, because I’m white.  It’s not appropriate.  Look, certain words change their meaning and purpose, however, there are some words in which that is not conducive or able to be done.  I don’t care how many teen girls like to describe themselves as the B word, thinking that they have a backbone and are cool; the fact that the very definition means “a female dog’s whose only purpose is to have puppies” is enough of a motive for me to tell these ladies to stop using that phrase.

     Same goes for the R word.  I ask you, coming from someone who’s lived with a disability and is a Special Education teacher, if you mean to describe something as stupid, then call it as such.  Stupid.  Ignorant.  Just please, not “retarded”.  Individuals with ID have proven themselves very capable, even if it means with assistance, and the use of the word only derogates and discourages the purposes and accomplishments of these people.

     Again, I hold no personal offense to you, if you have used the word.  My purpose here is to only educate.

     P.S.  The term “handicapped” is another former term to describe people with any disability; whether it be physical or intellectual.  The history behind that word was to describe someone who had to beg for their wellbeing, because they could not provide for themselves, yes, due to living with a disability.  This is another term that would be preferably phased out of our terminology.  To this day, I hear this term used, even by Special Education professionals; however, it is not preferred.  There are countless individuals who live with a disability, yet, have achieved great accomplishments.  If you do intend to use this word, please use this in a context of someone who is being enabled (negatively) or not able to provide for themselves (in a specific manner).